Confessions — ONESHOT

Sin and temptation were two things that Siwon had successfully avoided in his life. But with the arrival of the troublesome Katelyn at his Church, she made it difficult to avoid. What would his sign be, to remain faithful or to give everything up for the dangerous girl?

Starring: Siwon x OFC.

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone famous in this fiction and this is completely fictional. No disrespect is intended. This standalone contains sexual content.

__________

He sat quietly in the second pew, his hands clasped together tightly. His dark almond eyes were wide with the realisation that had hit him that night, and with a trembling gaze, he continued to stare at the large crucifix in front of him, praying for answers. Siwon knew not how to remove himself from his sinful thoughts, or if he even wanted to. Thus he sat there, hoping for a sign that would show him the path that he was to take.

Siwon had always believed he would be an advocate of the Church, his strong Christian beliefs paving the way to becoming a Priest. Now at twenty-three years of age, the young man had found himself close enough to grasp his dream of speaking for God. Yet in the last month he had been struck by doubt. Questions that had never affected him now did, and it was all because of one person.

Katelyn. Even her name was beautiful, and whenever he had the chance to say it, the word merely rolled off his tongue like he was reciting his beloved passage from the bible. She was a curse sent to him from Aphrodite herself, a woman that he knew better than to get mixed up with. Katelyn had come to their church a troubled mess late one night, and since then, whenever she was in his presence, Siwon struggled to keep his senses together. The very sight of the enchanting brunette was enough to crush him, and one inhale of her sweet perfume only intoxicated him further.

Father Kwon had entrusted the care of the young woman with Siwon however, and it was up to him and their confession sessions to help rescue her from the dark abyss she was currently scrambling away from. He felt a great amount of achievement after their sessions but something else was happening to him also. He had become more personal with the girl than he should, feeling the need to protect her from everything that was hurting her. And after their session tonight, his mind had travelled further down a sinful path, away from protection and towards desire. Siwon struggled with the idea, his vow of celibacy still strong within his conflicted mind.

“Please, show me the way I need to take,” he pleaded to the large gold cross, closing his eyes briefly and clasping his hands together more tightly. “I am troubled God, and do not know what to do next. Please guide me.”

“You know, I never really believe that he’s listening all the time,” a quiet voice mentioned and Siwon snapped around, his eyes growing wider at the girl standing there. Her hair was tousled and her dark makeup had run in black streaks down her face, but to him she was still beautiful. Katelyn cocked her head to the side and smiled. “If he was listening, why would I be so screwed up and get sent here all the time?”

“W-why are you back?” he asked weakly and she shrugged.

“You were weird with me tonight.”

Siwon got up and shook his head. “My apologies, my mind is very busy. I best go.”

“Why? I thought you and I were okay? I mean, you’re the only decent one here and I need a shoulder to cry on.”

“What’s the matter?” he enquired, taking a deep breath and then regretting it as her scent reached his nostrils. His stomach squirmed at the image that rushed through his mind and he shook his head again, trying not to give into his temptation for another image to crop up. He briskly led Katelyn to the confession booth where they usually spent their sessions, hoping that the wall between them would be enough to prevent him from divulging into a world he was not permitted to enter. He took a seat on his side and waited for Katelyn to continue.

“Siwon, can’t we just talk without this stupid wall between us? I’m not here to confess more of my terrible life. I’m here because my stupid Mum took his fucking side again and I just felt like going somewhere quiet.”

He sighed heavily. “Please refrain from cussing to me Katelyn. And your Step Father does have a name.”

“Sad excuse doesn’t deserve one. I just want to escape away from them. But after losing everything I had, moving out is out of the question. Why doesn’t anyone care about me? If your God truly did his job, I wouldn’t have to be here, worrying about things.”

“People do care about you Katelyn,” he replied earnestly, clamping his eyes shut as the next image appeared in his head. He yanked at his starch collar, feeling his body temperature climbing. He cleared his throat, hoping he could contain himself.

“Sure they do. I got fired, two days later my flat along with my friend inside goes up in smokes, and now I’m stuck living with my Mum again, who is dragging me down into the pits of hell with her. I know I sound like a broken record, but maybe this is it for me. Some people are rewarded for their good behaviour, and others are hit with God’s good ol’ smite button. Ugh, I don’t even know why I come here anymore.”

“I’m glad you do,” he said quietly, and Katelyn made a scoffing noise. He slid the screen between them open and smiled. “I mean it. Even if you don’t believe in what I do, I have faith that good things will come to you.”

“Righto,” she grumbled and shook her head. “Siwon, I come here because you listen to me. It doesn’t mean that you can help me. You’re just a boy, who has little experience in this world.”

“That was offensive.”

“It’s true. I bet you’ve had a sweet life. And then you go and throw away yourself to a church?!”

Siwon frowned. “What does that mean?”

“It means that girls are out there looking for caring guys like you, but the only person you get excited over is some fictional bastard up in the sky.”

“That’s not true!”

Katelyn rolled her eyes. “Please enlighten me then.”

“I uh, I don’t have to answer that!” he exclaimed and Katelyn laughed.

“Because I’m right. You couldn’t love another more than your precious God.”

“I love you!” he blurted out and Katelyn’s smile evaporated, her chocolate orbs widening at his confession. Siwon closed his eyes and leant back into his chair, cursing himself for letting his emotions overpower his faith. It was silent for a few moments and then Siwon chanced a look in the girl’s direction, finding Katelyn still staring at him. He couldn’t explain the feeling within his chest but it seemed to force more words out before he could crush them.

“I have just been sitting here all night after you left, trying to convince myself that the path I have taken is the right one. Instead, all I can think about is you. Katelyn, all I ever think of these days is you. Even with your constant swearing and defacing of my beliefs, I couldn’t imagine liking anyone but-”

She leaned through the screen and placed her index finger on his mouth, shaking her head softly. “Stop talking.”

“I’m sorry to offend you with my-”

“Just stop talking and kiss me you damn fool,” she stated firmly, and Siwon shook his head. “You can’t tell me you love me and not do anything about it.”

He had finally arrived at the pivotal moment of his life. If he kissed Katelyn, he knew there would be no way he would be able to stop his further actions. He felt like a revved up engine that needed to accelerate or he would stall. But he also had his faith, the lifestyle he had spent years on, and if he committed this one sinful act, he knew he wouldn’t redeem himself enough in the eyes of God to be able to preach his good words. It was as if temptation was staring at him, waiting for him to accept it or shy away from it like he had done his entire life.

“I’ll go,” Katelyn said softly and Siwon wrestled away from his thoughts, getting to his feet and moving around to her side of the booth. He shut the door behind them, and slid the partition shut before approaching her, cupping her face in his hands.

“Don’t go,” he murmured, pressing his lips against hers roughly. It took him by surprise how he handled the situation, a fire igniting in his stomach as Katelyn’s arms snaked around his neck, her fingers clasping at his dark hair. Passion surged through them and he allowed it to overwhelm him, fumbling his way around her clothes as the girl yanked at his own. It was an exhilarating feeling, and for once Siwon felt as if he was fully in control of his own life, not needing any guidance. His mind was free from consequences and instead Katelyn’s exposed skin was causing him to think of the one thing he had vowed to keep forever.

But giving up his virginity for this girl was all that mattered and it wasn’t long until both of them were naked, their breaths heavy from the spontaneous change of events. Siwon eyed her curves hungrily and attacked her feverish skin with his mouth, slightly startling himself with his apparent sexual knowledge. Katelyn’s moan only brought him closer to his own ecstasy, his manhood growing painfully.

“Make love to me,” Katelyn instructed breathlessly and he didn’t hesitate, allowing no space between their already sweaty bodies. Their movements and sounds made the experience more intensely and he could tell that what he felt for the girl was reciprocated. He had only ever thought of sex being an act that was meant for the creation of children, but now his view was entirely changed. Every hair on his body stood on its end as his stomach muscles began to clench, Siwon trying to hold out, and experience more with Katelyn. But a wave of tingles washed over him and he groaned loudly, releasing himself within the girl. She soon joined him and they sunk to the ground of the booth, Siwon panting heavily as he pulled Katelyn towards his body. She rested her head on his shoulder contently.

“If you think for one moment I’m going to regret this, I’m not,” he admitted and she lifted her head, looking into his eyes.

“You’re giving up everything you believe in.”

“I know. But I asked for a sign and you turned up. It’s always going to be you,” he responded, kissing her bare shoulder gently. “I never thought I’d be strong enough to do this though.”

“Shun God?” she teased and he rolled his eyes. “I know it’s what you believe in. And I believe in you. Why else would I keep coming back when clearly, I ain’t interested in Christianity?”

“An ulterior motive,” he stated and Katelyn nodded. “Well I’m glad. Although we should really get dressed and leave quickly.”

Katelyn giggled and got to her feet, helping him up. “What will Father Kwon do if he ever found out his star pupil soiled his confession booth?!”

“I hope he never does.”

“Well it was good for something,” she mentioned once dressed, and he glanced at her, doing up his shirt loosely. “Made you confess didn’t it?”

“Come on you,” he said with a grin, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Let’s get out of here before I commit any more sins.”

The End.

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